Jealous Husband
Phyllis Leyden-Alexander
My husband was fired from his job because the last time his brother was arrested he used my husband’s name and address and social security number. When the job did the background check it showed my husband has a record, which he does not. The police said they can’t do anything. Is there any way to fix this? My husband is innocent.
A Worried Wife
Dear Worried,
Your husband is the victim of criminal identity theft, and while it will not be easy there are steps he can take to clear his name. Although he did not cause this problem he is the only one who can fix it.
According to the Identity Theft Resource Center (ITRC) Fact Sheet #110, your husband will have to file a “false personation” identity theft report with his local enforcement agency. For more detailed information you can visit their web site at www.idtheftcenter.org, or call them at (888)-400-5530. IRTC is a non-profit agency and there is no charge for any information or assistance they provide.
I hope your husband will pursue this matter until his name is cleared. His brother has no one to blame but himself if he negative effects result from your husband working to clear his name. Your husband’s loyalty and responsibility are to you and your children, and being able to provide for his family. He will not be able to do that effectively until he is no longer associated with the crimes committed by his brother.
Dear Phyllis,
My husband is acting jealous towards me because we were both looking for jobs, and now I have a job but he still doesn’t have one. How can I talk to him about this? He gets very defensive when I bring the subject up and we wind up arguing.
Just Wanna Talk
Dear Wanna Talk,
Unfortunately, you cannot make your husband talk to you. What you can do is continue to let him know you believe in him and his ability to provide for the family, and that you understand his frustration. Even the most secure man can feel like a failure after a long period of unemployment. Do your best to keep the lines of communication open so that when he is ready to talk you are ready to listen.
If you have a minister or other professional the two of you can talk to by all means do so. Many larger places of worship offer free counseling as an outreach to the community. Make a few calls to find out what resources are available to you in your area. If your husband initially won’t go with you, go alone. It will help you to cope and give you pointers on helping the family make it through this difficult time.
